I had some things on my mind so I had to write about it. Ok so here’s the scenario:
Fellas…Saaaay you’re hanging out with one of your friends and you’re having a conversation about how people always say you have all these “hoes” (excuse my language) but you disagree and you say you’re lookin for them. Now let’s say one of your homegirls walks up, overhears the convo and jumps in with the joke by saying she’s looking for all these guys people claim she has too. At this moment you’re friend insinuates that your homegirl is one of your hoes. It was almost like oh here goes one of these girls jockin you now. How would you handle this situation? Would you…
- Ignore what just happened like you didn’t hear it and just hope the situation doesn’t get out of hand.
- Let them two as adults’ hash it out without you intervening. (and sit back with your popcorn)
- Apologize for your friend and change the subject.
- Say something to your friend and tell them that they need to chill or back off.
A very similar situation happened to me recently and what my friend, whom I consider to be a close friend, did was completely ignore the situation as if it was no big deal. In fact he admitted that his friend is reckless with the way he talks to people. I have witnessed my seemingly non conflictive friend before, sometimes what looked like on purpose, bring this reckless talking friend into conversations to stir the pot a little or cause a little drama/controversy if you will. Maybe for the entertainment that came along with it IDK. But I was still a little disappointed in the way he handled the situation with me.
I guess I thought that all of the CONSISTENT times we spent talking, laughing, bonding, and getting to know one another over the past 4 months would make me a special friend in some sort of way. Maybe I took our friendship more serious than he did. I understand that you can’t control what another person says but you can show some sort of reaction to it, especially if it’s a little disrespectful to someone else you call a friend or care about. In my opinion the loyalty that you have toward the first friend should not stop you from telling them they were wrong about something. Friends should tell friends when they are wrong and if I was a real friend to him I think he should have told him to pump his brakes.
The whole thing just seemed childish to me and it made me sit back and reevaluate our friendship. It almost made me wonder if there was anything that was said to his friend that even made him come at me that way. He said that his friend does that to all of the girls that say something to him, but then I’m thinking, and you think this is ok?
You know how at first you may not have been that mad about something but the more you thought about it, the more upset you got? My initial reaction was correcting his friend, but then his friend seemed to want to play some more. So I withdrew myself from the situation. I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing I was irritated or possibly get me even more upset. He seemed like the type of person that got a kick out of that. I don’t play around with disrespect and I’m totally over the days of arguing with people I don’t even know. The old me would have popped off.
IDK…The way that I am, if I feel like a friendship or any type of relationship is unbalanced, I lessen the amount of time I give to that person.
I would like to hear your thoughts on this. Also ladies if the script was flipped, would you check your friend?
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