Recently an old flame contacted me and asked me out on a date…
The last time we dated was about a year ago and I had came to the conclusion then that he wasn’t ready for a commitment. We were dating for about 3 months and depending on the amount of time spend with a person (for us it was a lot), by then you should know whether or not you want to take it to the next level to being in a relationship. He wasn’t a bad boy or thug and was a gentleman but it just felt like he wasn’t ready. We had a couple quarrels about communication and consideration, which is a big deal to me, and I think that made him pump the breaks. But I am the type of person that an argument won’t stop me from pursuing a relationship, I’m optimistic that you can work things out and move forward. I can admit my wrong in some of the things I did as far as my reaction to things that he did. I didn’t handle my emotions in the most mature way. The arguments/disagreements became more frequent and he was the kind of guy who avoided conflict and to me that wasn’t solving the issues. He was the type to get mad and not want to talk for days and I was the type, depending on the severity of the argument, who wanted to address it the next day. Overall I felt like he seemed like a good dude that had a good head on his shoulders but sometimes I questioned whether he had someone else he was talking to too. Whenever we go into it there wasn’t much effort put forth on his part to fix things. We did live about an hour away from each other too. We went out on several dates and spent significant time chillin at the crib with each other as well. We had both grown comfortable with each other but the constant butting of heads ultimately ended things for us…He tried to explain that he had personal issues and stress that affected how he handled things with us but that wasn’t enough for me. I moved on and stopped responding to his text and phone calls. I was very disappointed in the way things turned out with us because I really thought it looked like a promising relationship because we had a lot in common.
I hadn’t talked to him in a couple months when he contacted me to go out on a date. Every time he reached out I would pretty much give him the cold shoulder. But this time I guess I was in a good mood and said what the heck and went out on the date with him. He came and picked me up and we went to Dave and Busters and then afterwards we went out to eat and sat on the patio and talked for awhile. After that we came back to my place, watched tv, and once he started getting sleepy he gave me a kiss goodnight and made his way home. He was affectionate the whole time while I was still a bit stand offish. I had a good time but I’m still guarded in my approach to the situation. We’ve talked a lot on the phone since then and even apologized for things in the past. He stated that he wants to move forward and hopes that we can build and grow into something. I’ve been going with the flow but in the back of my mind I’m wondering is it worth the time. Thinking long term, eventually I will be moving back east to be closer to my mother. So is starting a relationship with someone right now the right thing to do, especially if I know they won’t move with me? And two will we have a repeat of last year?
So…Should old flames stay in the past?
Update: Kicked that boy to the curb lol
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